I am enough.
Today I had some unexpected alone time. Just me, coffee, worship music, my bible and journal. What I had originally planned didn’t work out so instead I just sat still and began to read and write.
This morning while Cory and the big kids were at church, Reid and I were home. Reid was still sleeping so I used that time to read my bible. I’ve been slowly reading through John. Today I read the first part of chapter 8. For those of you not familiar with this passage it’s on the “adulterous woman”. I think too many times as women, most of us will just skip over this passage. We don’t feel we can relate because we haven’t been an adulterous woman. While this may be true, we have all sinned in some way. So do me a favor, scratch out the word adulterous and insert “sinful” woman. Do that and then reread through this passage. It will rock your world.
As women I think we all too many times carry guilt that we shouldn’t. For whatever we feel we have done. That one sin that’s inexcusable. The act we committed that can’t possible be forgiven. The very thing that keeps us from being able to be used by God to further his kingdom. I believe this is the very thing the enemy uses to paralyze us and to make us feel undeserving and unworthy of God’s love.
I hope I now have all of your attention because I am pretty certain every single woman can relate to something from their past that makes this ring true.
I will paraphrase this passage ... In John chapter 8, the scribes and Pharisees (Jewish leaders) brought a woman to Jesus. She had been caught in her sin (adultery). By Jewish law, this sin was punishable by stoning to death. By doing this, the leaders were testing Jesus. What happens next is so very powerful.
“Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground.”
The Bible doesn’t say what he wrote, but I fully believe he wrote something to the woman that forever changed her life.
After this he stood up and looked at the men who brought her to him and said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Then he bent down and wrote something else on the ground.
Then one by one... the very men who set out to stone this woman to death... one by one they dropped their stone and left. One by one until all that was left was Jesus and this woman. Can you even begin to imagine the disbelief and shock that must have been on this woman’s face?
Jesus said to her “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She responded no. Then Jesus told her “then neither do I condemn you. go and from now on sin no more.”
Just close you’re eyes. Imagine standing before Jesus. The very person you fear could never love you or forgive you because of what you’ve done. But to your shock he does the complete opposite. Instead of condemning you to death, he leans over and writes something to you. He then extends his grace over your sin and sends you off to live a life worthy of him. Just like that. No questions asked. The very definition of grace- something undeserved and unearned, simply an act of mercy by God because of his great love for us.
What is he writing in the sand to you?
I can picture myself standing there sobbing... feeling the shame and guilt of choices I’ve made and acts I have committed. Forever marked. Not worthy of anything worthwhile.
I then can see Jesus wiping the slate clean. I can see in the sand he’s written “Trust me”. He then confronts anyone who you would argue otherwise, they begin to leave one by one.
In that moment he writes “I am enough”.
I then see clearly that the many ways I have tried to help him forget or to earn forgiveness were a waste. With his words and actions he is saying... I am enough. You will try countless things to fill your cup, to hide your brokenness and to satisfy your soul. None of these things will ever work. They will never be enough. I have wasted too much time “doing” and not just “being”. The feeling of having to do and be something more than what he wants. He just wants me. Nothing else. He wants me to believe it is he who defines me. Not anything or anyone. It is in this very place of belief that freedom comes.
Trust me. I am enough.
Friends, what is he writing to you? Have you too spent your life trying to earn back his trust and his love? Have you tried to be good enough since then to help him forget what you’ve done wrong?
My prayer is you will finally be set free from your shame and guilt and see what he has written. His gift of life for us is available. We are defined by him and not by anyone or anything. When you believe in Him all he sees is beauty and perfection. Jesus is standing in the gap and covers all our sins. We are free to just be. No longer bound by chains but free to live a life as he calls us.
He is enough. You are worthy. You have a purpose. May he be glorified in your story of redemption.