Sadly I realized that I haven't written since I went for my post op visit. I went in for my visit with Dr. Oh back at the beginning of the month. Thankfully, my cysts were benign. He gave me the all clear from cancer. The plan is to see my OB for a regular check in February and then see him again in May. I was so relieved to hear him say these words.
The Lord carried me through these last few months... He is good. I am not the same. Thankfully so. I am thankful for cancer. I am sure most will think I am crazy for saying that, but it's true. I was on a path the would ultimately lead to destruction. The path of self-reliance. Life is so much easier letting go of the need to control everything and trust God to care for every detail for me. No matter what that looks like. It's exactly how he intended us to live.
I started back to work part time. It has been good to start to slowly get back into the swing of things. It definitely feels different now. My purpose there at least. I have a completely different perspective now. The perspective from being the patient and not just the healthcare provider. I know that every single contact I have with a patient is a big deal... and not "routine" to them, even if it is to me.
Overall, I am feeling good. I am trying to figure out how to manage my time wisely and get back into the swing of things with work, being a wife and mom and managing my household. I am really looking forward to getting back to an exercise routine. I am trying to say yes to what's important and learning to say no more. If there's anything I learned from cancer, so much of what we place importance on in our day to day life doesn't even matter. It certainly has no eternal weight. Before cancer, I was the Queen of over-commitments. I never said no to anyone. I didn't want to let anyone down. I gave away so much of myself by living this way, as well as sacrificing my family. So now I am trying to ask myself every day. Does that even matter? How will that affect the kingdom of God? I certainly am not worrying like I use to. Just as the scriptures tell us, it can't add a single minute to our lives. The God who made us and created us will be the one who carries us through life.
"The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you." Romans 8:11
Everyday, I have access to the Holy Spirit living in me. The same power that rose Jesus from the grave is what will give me the strength to face each day. Every day will bring about a guaranteed uncertainty. But my hope is in my Jesus and not in anyone else. Living in His power frees me up to serve others wholeheartedly. Following Jesus gives me the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. Kingdom perspective.
Speaking of opportunities, I was able to take 10 more Team Holly Care bags to be given out. I actually received a message from one of the bag recipients. She is in the fight of her life with ovarian cancer... please pray for Rhonda and her journey. Lord heal Rhonda, but mostly Lord let Rhonda know You are the ultimate healing for all of us. Only in you will we find peace and true joy.
How are you living your day to day life? What is it that you are saying "yes" to? What should you be saying "no" to? Every morning I pray, Lord, may it be Your will and not mine. Show me opportunities to share your name. Give me the strength to love others like you do. It's a new year... new chance to reevaluate what's important in your life and how you spend your time.
This year, my prayer is the Lord would continue to show me the things in my life that aren't worthy of my time and effort. I want to use my time wisely and make a true impact in the lives of others. God has so lovingly extended his grace on my life and given me the chance to live. I do not take that gift lightly. But then neither should you. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. So what can you do today that will make an impact on the kingdom of God? What can you say "no" to so you can say "yes" to something more meaningful?
We did have a family photo session with Tressavent Photography. I got a few sneak peek images here... Tressa is an amazing young woman and a very talented photographer. I am so excited to see the rest of the pictures.. She truly captured the heart of our family. I never want to forget what the Lord has done in our family during this season.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Most of all, thank you Lord for being faithful. It has been so amazing to hear how the Lord has used my cancer to encourage and change the heart of others. I can't wait to share with you all some amazing opportunities I have coming up to share my story. It's crazy to think back to that flight 6 years ago when I clearly felt the Lord telling me "I want you to tell your story". I had no idea what that meant. Now I do. He has given me a story. He has placed me in the position I am in for a reason. He has given me a voice.
"God has given me this special ministry to share his favor to each of you." Ephesians 3:2
As I always say and mean every single word... Jesus, it's all for you. Every single day. I will never stop telling of all you have done.