Today I go in for removal of the dermoid cyst on my left ovary. The plan is to try to remove the cyst and leave the ovary. If he is unable to, then I will have a full hysterectomy. He will send a frozen section of the cyst to the pathologist to review while I am in the OR. He is not worried this is cancer. But, it still has to come out.
Here I am, almost 6 months to the very day of my last surgery. It's a little surreal. I have had lots of flashbacks to those days in June. I look back at see how much the Lord has changed my heart in the last six months. Thank you Lord! Reading through my journal from June 28th I see a much different person writing down her thoughts. I see someone drowning in fears and trying to control every single second of her life. A complete wreck!
This morning's Rick Warren devotional describes how I feel now perfectly....
“Faith unlocks the promises of God and it shows us the power of God and it turns dreams into reality and it gives us the power to hold on in tough times.
But faith doesn’t always take you out of the problem. Faith often takes you through the problem. Faith doesn’t always take away the pain. Faith gives you the ability to handle the pain. Faith doesn’t take you out of the storm. Faith calms you in the midst of the storm.”
Here I am six months later, in another storm. The waves are crashing all around me, yet there is stillness in my soul. Now am I completely happy and go-lucky? Absolutely not. Following Jesus doesn’t mean you will be happy all time and without problems. He just carries you through the problems. Trusting Him to do all the work takes the pressure off of us. I know the Lord allowed me to walk through this journey to teach me of my inability to control my life and to set me free from my fears. Praise Him for teaching me this!
“I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
When you are overcome with fear about a situation in your life – Seek the Lord!
“Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” Psalm 34:8
There are so many scriptures in the Psalms about how God is our rescuer, our protector, our defender. Over and over again, the bible tells us “do not fear, the Lord is with you”.
“Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the HOPE we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.” Hebrews 10:23
The definition of “waver” is to become unsteady because of weakness, emotion, tiredness. This scripture then tells us to remain steady in our faith. Cling to God because He is our rock, our redeemer, our Savior. He will never break his promise to us. Rest in Him when you are weak and tired.
Are you in the midst of a storm currently? I would encourage you to do a few things.
Spend time daily with the Lord. Drown yourself in His truths.
Cry out to Him and express to him your fears and your feelings. It’s ok if they’re not happy ones… He already knows that. But there’s something so freeing to let it all out. Peace comes from knowing the Lord intimately. The more you know about his true nature and character the more peace you will have. There’s no room for fear in your life when you are full of Jesus!
Journal your thoughts and ways you see the Lord working. Write down every time something happens that you know the Lord has done. He is working miracles in our lives every single day.
You will be amazed when you look back and read this. This is another way to remind yourself of exactly how much the Lord has done, especially in those times when the enemy would have you believe otherwise.
Share your story.
You don’t have to do it publicly like I have chosen to do. Not everyone needs to do that. I am because I feel the Lord specifically called me to do this. But, you can share your struggles with someone close to you so you aren’t alone. The enemy loves for us to be isolated. It’s hard to hear truths when we are alone. Allow people in to share your life with you and to allow them to be an encouragement to you. Plus, I promise you at some point in your life you will come across someone who is living with the same struggle. This will be no accident that the Lord will place you in their life to be an encouragement to them. It’s one thing to receive encouragement from people, but those who have walked through the same struggle as you carry more weight. There is just something about knowing they have felt what you are feeling that makes all the difference.
I am remembering all these truths today… He has already gone ahead of me. He already knows exactly how today will play out for me. In that truth I will place my trust. There is nothing is isn’t over or in control of.
“To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it”. Deuteronomy 10:14
Nothing today will surprise him. So why should I waste a second worrying about it?
We were created by Him to live on this earth and glorify Him with our lives. Jesus, it’s all for you. Every single second of our lives. There is nothing that is without purpose.
“My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection. That is why I can never stop praising you; I declare your glory all day long.” Psalm 71:7-8
So my friends, whomever of you is in the midst of a storm or at the bottom of a pit feeling completely helpless and defeated…. Hold tight. The Lord is near to you. He will never leave you. He holds our hand and wants to carry you through your struggle. He is good. I pray that you would have someone in your life that would speak truth to you and remind you of the Lord’s goodness on the dark days.
The Lord is weaving together a beautiful story in your life and in mine. One day we will see the final picture and understand why it all happened.
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” Romans 8:18
Hang on friend, He is making all things new. He is at work in your life and in mine. Thank goodness he loves us that much…
Jesus, it’s all for you. Every single day.